Awkward Adjustment
by Kajune
Summary: Izaya swallows a suspicious pill, and when Shizuo happens in on him shortly after, things get a little out of hand for both of them.


**Title** : Awkward Adjustment

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own any of the Characters of Durarara!.

 **Genre** : Romance / Humor

 **Warning** : Contains maleXmale content. Genderbend. OOCness.

 **Summary** : Izaya swallows a suspicious pill, and when Shizuo happens in on him shortly after, things get a little out of hand for both of them.

* * *

It's never safe to invade Shinra's medicine cabinet.

When the obnoxious doctor suddenly takes a leave of his apartment without notice, and with his phone switched off, Izaya feels there's no other option but to take it upon himself to care for the bruise on his cheek.

It's quite a nasty sight, enough to make Izaya wear his hood under hot sun rays and earn odd stares from those curious over his reason. A bad habit of his, or one of them, is to enjoy the look of utter horror whenever his clients learn how ill-informed they were of the things they paid to know.

Izaya, despite knowing the dangers, revealed to a distrustful husband, right after he murdered his wife, that she had in fact not been cheating on him as Izaya led him to believe. Sure, the man was right to believe her relationship with her boss was very positive, but nothing sexual ever occurred between them. It was merely the husband's possessiveness that drove him to contact the devil for help.

...and allow said devil to remark upon his bad behavior right in his face.

In return, Izaya was given a really bad punch. If he had woken up and not stayed conscious as the man ran off, Izaya would have believed Shizuo finally got to him, but no. An ordinary human left him bleeding slightly and in need of medical attention.

Without the doctor around, Izaya searches through the man's cabinet for something to stop the pain.

Accidently, his hand makes contact with an odd-looking bottle. The shape of it, similar to an hourglass, draws in his attention. As if forgetting his purpose, the raven removes it from behind a few other bottles in order to examine it closely.

Another odd thing about it, is that there's no label on it of any kind.

Taking his chances, Izaya unscrews the top and takes a quick sniff. To his surprise, the many small pills inside posses the scent of strawberries. This discovery, heavily piques his interest.

In an attempt to identify what exactly he is holding, Izaya takes out one of the pink pills and swallows it. For a moment, nothing happens, and Izaya nearly assumes they're just misplaced sweets. As he reaches to put the bottle back in its place and resume his original task, something shocks him.

Said bottle hits the white tiles, soon followed by Izaya's knees. The answer to what has gotten him practically sitting among scattered pills and glass, is an intense burning feeling in his chest. He promptly hugs the area, hunched over, and not able to do anything but experience the unexpected consequences.

Something's seriously wrong with what he just ate.

Despite his reputation as a know-it-all informant, he truly behaved foolishly by trusting anything kept in this house, believing that maybe a single item doesn't spell some form of danger.

As the hot sensation lingers on, Izaya begins to feel a lump forming where it shouldn't.

* * *

Shizuo's job performance has hit a whole new low, thanks to the blunder of hitting a shameless client so hard he landed on a kid, who happened to be inside the house when Shizuo - and his team of debt collectors - arrived.

Tom finally chose to lay him off for the day after a fist came into contact with another person...who wasn't even a client.

Shizuo's only excuse was because the damage he inflicted on the kid made his self-loathing expand, but after the second blunder, when the first hadn't really been sorted out (just separating the man and child and apologizing) both Tom and Varona found it necessary to keep Shizuo away from work.

...and they may lay him off permanently if he dares to return the next day seething with rage.

Since parting, Shizuo hasn't done anything but walk in one direction. He's a bit sorry for knocking a few teeth out of that unsuspecting guy, but right now, he's more concerned with taming his anger and not carrying it into tomorrow for the sake of his job, by visiting a certain friend.

It takes a whole ten minutes for him to arrive outside the apartment complex of Ikebukuro's infamous Black Rider.

Never before has this kind woman failed to calm his nerves.

He avoids using the elevator so he doesn't meet someone talkative and flippant again. Fortunately, it takes only a couple of minutes for Shizuo to reach his destination, the sole downside being he wasn't able to light a cigarette in such record time. Since he suspects Shinra to be here, Shizuo is more than willing to ignore the slight twitching in his hand, in favor of not hearing complaints from the doctor.

Though instead of seeing a white-clad man and a black-clad woman, he sees something he only saw once before...in a dream.

* * *

It's not hard to believe, even for those who barely know Shinra, that he possesses a mind full of _really_ sick fantasies. Among them, is making Celty's breasts larger. It's a disturbing thought, much more so for Izaya who happened to unwittingly consume the very pills designed for this job.

The result...is quite unpleasant.

Looking down at his bare chest, Izaya sees a miracle. Two uncomfortable, 'lumps', have come to mar his otherwise perfect skin. To make matters worse, while he's experimentally touching the all-too-real breasts, the door suddenly opens.

Had it been Shinra, a thousand stabs would be the man's greeting.

Since it isn't...

Izaya stands paralyzed, limbs stiff and unable to move upon his red orbs making eye contact with his most hated nemesis. Likewise, Shizuo is unable to move even the tinniest muscle after laying his eyes upon something that shouldn't be where it is.

As much as Izaya wants to blame this entire situation on Shinra, in the end, it's his fault.

It was heavily wrong to search Shinra's belongings.

Now Shizuo is here.

A fact that remains the same for the slow ten seconds it takes for Izaya to regain composure, and grab his black shirt. Using both hands, he has the view of his new physical additions blocked, thus preventing anymore staring from anyone. Shizuo blinks in response, gives his eyes a quick rub, before looking at Izaya properly.

This situation...is beyond awkward.

One can easily tell by the uncomfortable looks on their faces, and the cough Shizuo soon lets out.

"...flea..."

No doubt he's nervous.

Too nervous, actually, to say more, as both he and Izaya turn pink in their cheeks. Izaya knows, despite being equally silent, that he needs to tell Shizuo to get out so he can put his shirt on then leave. He'll probably start planning his revenge on Shinra, maybe even expose Celty to this naughty scheme, assuming she doesn't know already.

Shinra can argue that Izaya broke into another person's residence, but unless he gets even the tinniest satisfaction from all this, the raven isn't going to back down.

The conflict with Shinra will surely happen, but again, he needs to say something **first**. Though before he can produce the courage to do so, Shizuo starts walking towards him. Alarmed, Izaya takes a step back. Hands still tightly holding the fabric, Izaya watches with eyes slightly widened, as Shizuo makes his way across the room.

"S~Stop..."

Izaya warns, causing Shizuo to stop indeed.

He then waits for a response, for a reason why the man now has a disturbed expression instead of an apologetic one. He better show the latter since he unceremoniously scared the life out of his enemy.

"I just..." Shizuo scratches the back of his head, yet no guilt is visible. "...wanted to check if they were real."

Izaya looks at him as if he's said something very stupid. Izaya himself knows they're real, he watched them grow and felt his skin stretch in the way the pill forced it to. Even for a monster with a single-celled brain, he should know better than to personally examine another person (man or woman's) chest.

This causes Izaya's expression to darken.

"They...really are?"

What makes Izaya's eyes cry dislike is the persistent curiosity of his nemesis, which is only making this situation more awkward. Feeling air touch his skin is really uncomfortable, but there's no question whether he'll put it on if Shizuo remains. The man has violated him enough just by being here.

He wants him gone.

"Out."

Shizuo's face heats up, as if only recently aware how he's burst into Izaya's personal space despite this not being his home. There's a question on why the raven is here, and it's probably to see Shinra, either for the noticeable bruise on his face or the little change he can't seem to overlook.

Which he can only describe as beautiful.

Izaya tenses when footsteps bring Shizuo closer. It's not really in the raven's nature to be blunt with his desires, but he's not in the mood to play mischievous when right now all he wants is to fully dress and get out, even more so with the danger of Shinra and Celty returning soon.

A few more steps and Izaya would have his back against the wall, and if keeping a single piece of cloth in between Shizuo and his new private part doesn't feel like enough, than being cornered with no chance of escaping is a nauseating thought.

Shizuo looks down at him with one of the most uncharacteristic grins.

"You haven't answered my question."

Teasing Izaya probably isn't the smartest thing to do, but whatever it is behind the man's shirt, this is clearly the perfect opportunity to get back at Izaya for some of the bad things he's done. This is what he's been telling himself, at least.

Reaching up, Shizuo presses the palm of his hand against the fabric and onto the 'lump', causing Izaya to shriek and dart sideways, now with an even more defensive hold over his chest.

"Shizu-chan!"

For some reason, Shizuo feels thrilled from the contact. Following the outburst, he begins chasing Izaya in an almost playful manner while constantly reaching to grab what apparently IS the real thing. He doesn't have a clue how someone he's bloody certain is male has something like that, and if he thought hard enough he'd start blaming Shinra, but regardless of the cause, he's glad to be making the outcome very uncomfortable for the other.

Eventually, Izaya gives up avoiding those well-aimed hands, and with his back finally against the wall, he lets Shizuo grope him with both palms. It feels somewhat pleasant, to be honest. The shade of pink on both their cheeks doesn't seem to come from shyness anymore too.

Shizuo's touching steadily becomes rough. In the instant he is about to squeeze, he yanks the shirt from Izaya's hold, thus granting himself full view of what he's certain are a beautiful pair of breasts.

He continues with massaging, all the while listening to the faint moans slipping past Izaya's lips. Half-lidded eyes are looking everywhere as pleasure begins to fill the owner, and the man looking down at him.

Instinctively, Shizuo leans forward to kiss Izaya, and becomes delighted to feel those soft lips kiss him back.

Shizuo was in the middle of undoing Izaya's belt when the sound of a horse suddenly reaches their ears.

They both pause, stare at the direction it came from, then look at each other with wide eyes and full realization on what they were doing and about to do with each other. Shizuo instantly pulls away from Izaya, but kindly picks up the shirt which is hastily received.

The blond takes a few steps back and rubs his face while he lets Izaya put on his shirt at long last. There isn't another sound coming, but both know better than to expect Shooter to suddenly become very vocal. They rush for the exit, Izaya long forgotten the ever-present bruise and the reason he came here.

Same with Shizuo.

By the time a doctor and a dullahan are back home, everything appears to be in order.

That is until...Celty finds the scattered pills in the bathroom, and turns to Shinra to inquire him about them. She deeply regrets asking when the doctor's mouth forms a _very_ sadistic grin.

* * *

 **Owari**

* * *

 **Author's Note** : This took me days to write, but I'm glad with the result, just not sure where I got the idea from. O_O

Hope you enjoyed~


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